Ever feel like you need a button to auto-reset your mood? You’re not alone. Most of us ping-pong from one emotion to the next based on external influences without ever learning how to auto-reset our mood and take back control.
This no-BS guide is here to change that.
You don’t need to go for expensive therapy, a Himalayan retreat, or an app with calming rain sounds (unless that’s your thing). You just need a simple, personal strategy that works — every single time without fail. No fake positivity, no waiting; a way to create instant happiness and stop negative emotions from running the show.
Table of Contents
The Happiness We Think We Want
I believe that if people could choose only one thing in life, it would be constant happiness. While we seem to enjoy watching other people’s drama, most of us prefer to avoid it in our own lives.
The film The Matrix might suggest otherwise when Agent Smith says to Neo (paraphrasing) that the original Matrix had no suffering, but the human mind simply could not accept that reality.
It is probably a valid argument as we do need some sort of benchmark of what is not enjoyable in life so as to appreciate what is.
However, there are also yogis and monks on the planet for whom the word suffering has no meaning. This generally involves a life of dedication and giving up the luxuries of the modern world. If you think this is the path for you, I take my hat off to you and wish you the best of luck on your path. Personally, I’m not quite ready to give up all my comforts and attachments just yet.
So, while I did suggest we would like to have this high level of happiness, most of us are not emotionally and psychologically prepared for the commitment.
We have to accept that enduring happiness is unlikely due to the many and varied external factors which impact our lives.
So if we can’t have that, what’s the next best thing?
How about spending more of your time in a good mood than an angry, anxious and/or depressed one?
I don’t know about you, but this sounds kind of appealing to me, and it is doable.
I mean why the hell would you want to be in any state which doesn’t make you feel good by choice?
Sounds a bit like madness to me, and yet it seems to be almost a default setting these days; although I’m sure people in the past were the same, I just wasn’t there to be able to comment.
Our Negativity Addiction
Have you ever noticed how many times your conversations with friends, family, or co-workers start off with a negative?
It will probably involve one of the following topics:
- Well, the weather’s shite (too hot, too cold, too wet, etc.)
- The government are up to no good & screwing us again (left or right, nothing new there then!)
- Did you hear what so and so did (a real acquaintance or possibly a celebrity)
- Have you seen the price of… (insert pretty much anything)
I could have added many more things to the list, but I think the undercurrent of most of these conversations is one of two things:
- “Either me or someone I know is a victim; feel sorry for me, NOW!”
- Let’s share our joint misery together.
There are psychological reasons why we do this, but who gives a shit.
The purpose of this article is not to make you a master psychologist but to offer a simple thing you can do to spend less time feeling unhappy.
So, let’s get the basics out of the way:
Happiness is an inner state which you can access at any time you want to, even when shit’s going on around you. Mastering this is not easy for most, myself included, but this is the purpose of doing self-development.
We are all changing into a different person with every experience we have. Much of this change is done unconsciously, such as becoming more cynical as we get older. Making conscious changes is the antidote to becoming more of a miserable twat with each passing day.
The Myth of Possessions = Happiness
Lasting happiness does not come from external things, such as possessions, relationships or wealth, even though we often buy into this belief. All these things can be taken from you, and unless you’ve trained as some sort of Jedi and given up all attachments, if this occurs, you will no longer be happy.
“Money can’t buy you happiness” may be true to the extent of being consistently in a good mood, but apart from that, it is, of course, bollocks.
Money definitely can buy you moments of fleeting happiness of varying durations.
For example, I know a person who seldom appears happy, yet they believe that their next purchase will resolve this. They once bought a flashy car and, for a few days, appeared mostly happy, but after a couple of months, they couldn’t even be arsed to clean it (inside or out), so clearly that didn’t work, did it?
Despite having a lucrative job, they carry substantial debts due to their perpetual need for the good old instant gratification fix:
- See external thing and think it will bring happiness, so must have it
- The new thing enters life
- Use thing, possibly only once, maybe never
- Novelty of thing wears off
- Thing discarded or taken for granted
- Rinse and repeat!
Whatever pleasure money brings into your life is still only a transitory fix, so relying on it to define your happiness is guaranteed to engender mood swings. Notice how a yoyo spends more time down than up unless it is in the hands of a professional who knows how to use it? This is the average person’s relationship with money and their happiness.
Why No One Can Validate What You Don’t Believe
Let’s be honest being adored feels great in the moment. You ever notice how a compliment can make you feel like a fucking rockstar, for all of about five minutes? Then it’s gone, and you’re left chasing the next hit like some kind of praise junkie. That’s because the buzz you get from being admired is surface-level. It strokes the ego, not the soul. It’s not your fault; it’s just how we’re wired.
The moment people stop the praise, the silence gets loud, and you’re back to wondering if you’re worthy of the adoration. Either that, or you have to do something else to regain the attention.
This can take all sorts of forms, but it will probably involve some sort of artificial body modification, ranging from something simple like new clothes all the way up to permanent alterations such as a smile that you can only get in Turkey, or lips that resemble a Spitting Image puppet.
If people want to do these things, that’s fine, the issue is whether it’s done for oneself or for the approval of others, which is merely another short-term fix. If your happiness depends on likes, compliments, or someone telling you you’re amazing, you’re handing your emotional controller over to a bunch of people who probably can’t even regulate their own.
A person may not even be aware that they do these things and instead say they are doing it to empower themselves or because it makes them feel good. They may even go as far as to shy away from approval, but unconsciously they actually crave it.
Recognition of achievement and a sense of belonging are a couple of essential human needs in life, but they also need to be balanced with other important things like mental well-being. Before choosing to become one of the beautiful sheeple, it might be worth taking a look at who the shepherd is, i.e., who did you get these ideas from? Have the modifications, the style, and the bling resulted in an emotionally stable individual, or a narcissistic sociopath?
I’ll wrap this section up by returning to the unhappy person from my earlier example.
I think Carly Simon wrote a song about their levels of vanity! Yet, despite multiple trips to Turkey, flaunting designer labels, and sporting the typical gym-toned physique—which likely included some needle-induced enhancements—true inner happiness remains an elusive dream, perhaps just another purchase away.
What’s an Auto-Reset and How to Use It
So if happiness is merely a state of mind, what do we do to feel that way more often, I hear you say?
That’s a damn fine question, and I’m glad you asked.
As in the title of the article, you need to find your “auto-reset”.
“Yeah, I gathered that, get on with it.”
OK, I will, but don’t get too excited, or maybe you should, it’s up to you, but be warned, it is really simple (most solutions in life are).
All an auto-reset is, is something which, no matter how you’re currently feeling, will instantly make you feel happy.
There, I told you it was fucking simple.
Just because it’s simple, do not undervalue its impact on your emotions.
Our emotions are really easy to manipulate.
You may not want to admit it happens to you, but it does and there is no escape from it. All we can do is limit how often it happens to us.
Right now, yes, right now, I want you to think of someone who really gets on your tits, grinds your gears, and totally pees you off. If you can’t think of anyone you know personally, just pick a politician or celebrity you seriously dislike. The following image will no doubt work for some readers…
Imagine being in the room with them, hearing the drone of their voice in your ears. Is the mere sound of their breathing like nails on a chalkboard to you?
Do they have a particular odour; if so, imagine it going up your nose right now!
Hold those thoughts for another minute & really think about all the ways in which they irritate you.
Really picture them doing and saying the things which cause you to feel unhappy.
Not feeling particularly positive right now at a guess?
Ready to Auto-Reset Your Mood in Real-Time?
Now, I want you to look at the picture of my dog as a pup & keep looking at it until it is all you can think of before reading any further.
How long did it take you to shake the negative feelings you had previously? (Everyone is different)
If this worked like I hoped it would for you, you have just had a real-world experience of how easy it is to switch from one state to another, or auto-reset, as I call it, when it’s done constructively.
If you don’t find pictures of animals and nature uplifting, I would definitely say there is no point reading my stuff, it won’t be for you. No judgment; there is just no point in wasting your time because being in nature is my number one method for resetting emotions.
Examples of Auto-Resets That Work
If this did work for you, it’s now time to find your “auto-reset”. It doesn’t have to be just one thing either. Find as many things as you can which can instantly change your mood from negative to positive. Write a list if that’s your thing. Some ideas may not be practical for both at home and when you are out and about.
Here are a few suggestions to get the cogs turning in the old grey matter:
- Watching a short comedy sketch or routine
- Watching an uplifting or inspiring video
- Listening to a favourite song or a particular piece of music
- Reading the works of a favourite author
- Stepping outside for five minutes of sunshine and fresh air
- Remembering a cherished moment from your life
- Simply observing a living thing which means the world to you and be grateful to have them in your life
I chose my dog as my main “auto-reset” because no matter what is going on, he reminds me to stop taking life too seriously and to have some fun. When I’m irritated or being a miserable twat, he gives me a look as if to say, “Are you being a dick again?!” & I instantly smile. I don’t have to think about it, it simply happens automatically.
Certain strategies will prove more effective than others, and their impact may differ. It’s a straightforward technique that you can use whenever you need some instant happiness. Nevertheless, the more frequently you practice it, the more likely you are to experience longer-lasting happiness.
Do you already employ this auto-reset strategy? If so, I’d love to know what works for you. Feel free to drop your idea in the comments, I might want to steal it!
