Who the Hell Am I to Talk About This Stuff?
Fair question.
There’s no shortage of people online telling you how to fix your life, sort your mindset, or finally get your act together.
A lot of it sounds great… right up until you try to use it in a real moment and it falls apart.
I’m not coming at this from a distance.
I’ve spent a large part of my life working with people dealing with patterns that don’t shift easily — in therapy rooms, in prisons, and in my own life when things weren’t exactly running smoothly.
Over time, I noticed something.
Most people don’t struggle because they don’t understand what to do.
They struggle because, in the moment it matters, something else takes over — habit, emotion, old wiring — and the good intentions go out the window.
That’s the bit I focus on.
Getting clear on what’s actually happening, so you can respond differently when it counts.
Why People Work With Me
Most people who end up here aren’t stuck because they’re clueless.
On the surface, life is working. They handle responsibilities, make decisions, and have a decent sense of what they want.
But certain situations still get to them.
A comment lands the wrong way and lingers.
A conversation turns, and suddenly they’re reacting emotionally instead of responding properly.
They walk away thinking, “Why did I do that again?”
That’s where I come in.
I help people slow those moments down enough to see what’s actually happening while it’s happening — so they can stay in control of themselves instead of being pulled off course.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all way of doing that.
We figure out what actually works for you — in your life, with the situations you’re dealing with.
What I Bring To The Table
I’ve come at this from a few different angles over the years.
A big part of it comes from working directly with people — over a decade in a health centre, alongside running my own therapy practice.
Real situations, real problems, not theory.
Before that, there was the military, which shows you quickly what pressure does to people — and how differently it can be handled when you’re trained for it.
Then later on, I stepped away from that world for a while and moved into filmmaking and acting.
That added something different.
As an actor, you learn how to step into emotions on cue — not just understand them, but feel them.
As a director, you spend your time shaping behaviour — looking closely at how people respond, what feels real, and what doesn’t quite ring true.
You start to notice patterns.
Not in a textbook way — just in a that’s interesting… why does that keep happening? kind of way.
Over time, all of that blends together.
So whether I’m writing, speaking, or working one-to-one, I’m not just listening to what’s being said. I’m paying attention to what’s underneath it — what’s driving it, and where things start to go off track.
That’s what I bring into the work.
Short Version of the Long Story
I didn’t come into this through a traditional, polished academic route.
I grew up between council estates and military bases, left school with very little in the way of qualifications, and went straight into the Royal Navy.
When I came out, I didn’t have some grand plan. I just knew I wanted to understand people — and, if I’m honest, probably myself as well.
What started as a curiosity about hypnosis — more the “Jedi mind trick” side of it at the time — quickly turned into something deeper. I got interested in how people actually work — how we think, how we react, and how we end up stuck in the same loops without even noticing.
That’s the path I’ve been on ever since.
It hasn’t been linear, and I don’t pretend it has. But it’s real, and it’s grounded in lived experience rather than theory alone.
Oh, and I live with a dog named Beowulf who understands presence better than most people I’ve met.
How I work
There isn’t just one way to do this.
Whether you’re listening to a talk, reading something I’ve written, or working with me directly, the aim’s the same — to make things clearer, simpler, and actually useful in the real world.
Some situations need straight talking.
Some need a bit more space to work things through.
Most land somewhere in the middle.
If I’m speaking to a room, I’ll push people to look at things differently.
If you’re reading something I’ve written, it’s about helping you recognise it in your own life.
And if we end up working one-to-one, we’ll figure it out together in a way that fits you.
However it’s delivered, the aim’s the same — something that actually works, not just something that sounds good and changes nothing.
What You’ll Find Here
This site isn’t built around just one thing.
Some people land on a blog post and stick around.
Others find the book first.
Some are just figuring out whether I’m someone they’d want to talk to or bring in to speak.
It all connects.
A lot of the writing is for when you’re working things out on your own — whether that’s by choice or because one-to-one work isn’t right for you right now.
The aim is simple: give you something you can actually use, on its own.
The books go a bit deeper. More structure, more detail — something you can come back to when you need it.
And if you want something more direct, that’s where the one-to-one work and the talks come in.
Want a Proper Sample of How I Actually Think?
This is a deleted chapter from my latest book, It’s Not OK to Be Not OK.
It didn’t make the final cut — not because it wasn’t useful, but because it went a bit further than I wanted the book to go in one place.
The title:
“Do People Really Piss You Off?”
If you’ve been reading this page and thinking, “Yeah, I get where he’s coming from…” — this is where you find out if that still holds when things get a bit more direct.
It’s a straightforward look at how we react to other people — and what that actually says about us.
No dressing it up. No pretending we’re all calm and enlightened.
Just something honest enough to be useful.
If you want to see what my books are really like before deciding anything else, you can have it free.
Pop your email below and I’ll send it over.
What You Do Next Is Up to You
If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably decided whether I’m your kind of person — or not.
If you want to take it a bit further, here are a few ways to do that:
🔹 Read the Blog – Ramblings on mindset, emotional control, and the weirdness of being human
🔹 Explore the Books – Straight-talking ideas you can actually use, without needing a session
🔹 Listen to the Podcast – conversations with Indigenous elder Wa-Na-Nee-Che on life, meaning, and what’s really going on
🔹 Work With Me (1-to-1) – For when you want to get into your specific situation and sort it properly
🔹 Book Me to Speak – Honest, human talks about mental health, meaning, and how people actually change
🔹 Say Hello – Questions, comments, or just seeing if I reply
Last Words (for Now)
If nothing else, I hope this site gives you one honest moment in a world that rarely does.
And if it makes you laugh along the way, even better.
Welcome aboard.