About fifteen years ago, I wrote a piece called The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth. It was tongue-in-cheek at the time, but looking back now, it reads like a half-serious prediction. No, I’m not claiming Simpsons-level clairvoyance here — but let’s be honest, geeks ruling the world isn’t a sci-fi fantasy anymore, it’s the daily news.
Table of Contents
The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth
If you are reading this, then you are at least a little computer savvy. If you’re one of the individuals who know much, much more than this, then the World is truly your oyster and you have the rest of us by our “short and curlies”!
I remember resisting getting into computers for as long as possible, until I shared a house with a Matelot mate of mine. His use of it was mainly limited to certain types of web browsing, but I saw then; there was more potential to this technology than an extra box of tissues.
After using one for about 9 years, I couldn’t imagine life without it, but I often find myself frustrated by this technological marvel.
Although, like most people, I often encounter situations that remind me of “Skynet” from the Terminator films, where computers seem to have their own independent intelligence, this is not what really bothers me.
What really gets me is how I am now at the mercy of something even more unbelievable: “the geek”.
The “Good Old Days”
I’m not saying it was right, but in my days at school, which was – holy shit – over 20 years ago (where the hell did that go?!), there were 3 categories of kids: Cool, Nerd and the rest of us. Everyone knew which category they belonged to, their role in it and what to expect from the others.
These were simple times: the cool kids would have their few years in ascendance, bullying with gay abandon, dating the hot chicks and dominating all sporting events. However, unless they were extremely good at sports, they would probably never amount to much in the adult world, and if you kept this in the back of your mind, you could giggle to yourself silently.
The nerds would suffer the most, handing over their dinner money, setting records for long-lasting virginity, and failing miserably at nearly every sport. Yet, there was a light at the end of the tunnel; after enduring these years of gruelling punishment, they could take solace in knowing they would one day have a well-paid job, and could even possibly become a teacher marking down future cool kids’ final exams.
The remaining majority just had to survive, knowing that once they were out of the educational penal system, they could get on with a life of their choosing. All you had to do was keep your head down, turn a blind eye to the kid getting his head flushed in the toilet, and never speak to the “hard kids” girl.
The “Harry Potter Conspiracy”
Is it merely a coincidence or:
Has the world totally changed since the launch of Harry Potter?
Has this – as would have been called at my school – little “4-eyed bastard” really cast a spell on the world?
Has he caused the rest of us to suffer for idly standing by whilst his nerdy brethren suffered “wedgies”, “the mill”, and other such unpleasantries?
No, probably not, but I’d love to see websites devoted to such a conspiracy, loaded with “facts” supporting such a hypothesis. Hey, why not? There are far worse conspiracies out there!
Note: Holy crap, I’ve just Googled the term and blow me; there were over 4 million hits! What’s wrong with this planet, when you can’t even start your own conspiracy?!!
The “Nerd World Order”
I’ll try again: The richest nerds in the known Universe have put a PC or Mac in virtually every home in the developed and much of the developing world. Their loyal disciples have been instructed on how to secretly infiltrate our lives, so we become dependent on their unique powers, and thus facilitate their clandestine plans for world domination.
Are these the wild ramblings of someone who spends too much time analysing people, the universe and our place in it?
Maybe so, but perhaps you, too, will begin to see a pattern emerging:
- Have you ever had a Virus, Trojan, or other flavours of nuisance appear on your computer, literally days after a warranty has run out? It seems to me there is some code hidden in plain sight – if you knew what any of this damn code meant – set with a time delay to make you purchase the next licence, upgrade or pay for customer support.
- Have you ever bought the latest all singing and dancing computer, only to find that there is one with double the RAM, triple the hard drive space and a processor that is 4 times faster than the one you have, before you’ve even taken it out of the box? Surely, they could stop wasting our time and make each successive generation at least 10 times better.
- If you have your own website, ever noticed how you always need to go back to the developer for maintenance? That is, if you can ever get them to complete it in the first place! My first personal website, which I built using the online editor about 6 years ago, never went wrong until I had to upgrade to the newer software.
Perhaps it’s not such a fanciful premise after all?
Escaping “The Matrix”
So, what are our options?
Do we wake up from the Matrix and wipe out their arsenal with an electromagnetic pulse?
Yeah, not so sure about that one: Although, it’s nice to think of living the “good life”, getting back to nature and all that hippy shit. The reality would most likely be reminiscent of all those 80’s post-apocalyptic movies, and I don’t really fancy working for “Lord Humungus”!
Okay, this article has been written “tongue in cheek” because I had some time on my hands; I only had to wait 18 months for a website to be completed by a professional!
“Every dog has his day”, so it is said, and now it is the turn of the nerd, as it clearly looks like “The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth!”
Reflections on Geeks in Power
Holy fuck, it’s now approaching forty years since I left school, and I never even imagined making it to forty back then. The saying “live fast, die young, and have a good-looking corpse” was my mantra in my idiotic late teen days. Well, too late for that now.
I’ll now look at each section of the article and share some thoughts on how things have changed since its publication.
Well, I do not need to mention any names, but I’m sure you’ll agree that the richest people on the planet are geeks, and we are certainly at their mercy. They provide us with pretty much all our needs, and many of them instantaneously, or at worst with next-day delivery.
AI has now arrived, so my paranoia about Skynet has only worsened, but when I’m using it, I endeavour to be nice and polite to it. Maybe when it takes over, it will treat me nicely, as some kind of pet human instead of using me to power its server, Matrix-style.
Needless to say, porn has advanced along with these technologies, probably even leading the charge as it has done in the past (think adoption of VHS over Betamax), and it won’t be long before only the beautiful people actually have human sex. Those who can afford it are already fucking beautiful robots, so soon everyone else will be just flying solo because they no longer have the skills to talk offline. Maybe I’ll look at this article in another ten years to see if that prediction comes true!
The Evolution of Arseholes: Schoolyard to Cyberspace
From what I gather, what I referred to sarcastically as “the good old days” of school bullying has now been eradicated, mostly, in the real world. But sadly, this too has transitioned into the virtual domain. Bullies have always been cowards, but they did always run the risk of physical pain themselves in all their dealings. Cyber-bullies, on the other hand, are even bigger cowards, as they can carry out their vile behaviour at a distance and with almost anonymity.
Celebrity bullying is now acceptable, provided you are picking on the correct celebrity, of course. I would never have imagined that when I joked about a Harry Potter conspiracy, something like what has arisen would happen.
J.K. Rowling has managed to spark a firestorm over trans and women’s rights. I’ll be honest: I’ve no idea which parts are genuine and which are people chasing clicks, so I’ll stay out of that particular battlefield. However, she is certainly a celebrity whom many people feel is acceptable to cyber-bully. As another billionaire, I’m sure she can cope with the inconvenience more than most.
Technology: Friend or Foe?
In 2010, your phone might’ve known where you were if you told it nicely; opened a map, checked in, or got lost. But now, it doesn’t even bother asking. It’s like having a nosy neighbour in your pocket: always watching, always remembering, and definitely ready to grass you up if the need arises. We have freely given away our finger and voice prints, along with regular image updates of our appearance, just for the ability to share our generally ill-informed opinions on every subject matter and watch videos of cats, well, being cats.
We have gone from being a tool-using species to a species used by tools. We have given up many freedoms so casually that most people do not even consider the consequences of this action. Over a decade ago, we witnessed what could potentially happen to this data, in a fictional setting, if powerful individuals sought to eliminate anyone who could stand in their way.
Many consider Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) the best of the Marvel films, but how many even contemplate how close to something akin to Hydra’s Project Insight we are now today? All it would take is for some of the most powerful World leaders to believe that international and domestic laws do not apply to them, and it could begin.
FUCK!
You don’t need a tin-foil hat to believe that dodgy people are up to dodgy shit anymore; it’s daily news. It’s also way too late to stay off the radar when it comes to where an individual stands on all the major bones of contention; most people share this crap many times a day.
The smart thing to do now is to minimise how often we raise our heads above the parapet by sharing our opinions on them. Also, maybe try leaving your phone at home from time to time to prove to yourself that life can still be enjoyable and continue without it.
Consider it training for a worst-case scenario: If the Helicarriers ever go up, may as well make it as difficult as possible for the bastards to pin you down!
The Billionaire Endgame
Maybe I will still end up working for Humungus, not because we destroyed technology, but because it was used against us. Considering the current state of tech and world politics, it’s tempting to feel discouraged and envision a grim future. However, I remain hopeful about the survival of our species.
Technology is going to steal your job long before the immigrant that many assign blame to for their woes, but this is nothing new. The plough was replaced by the tractor, the weaver by the mechanical loom, and the factory worker by the robot. As old industries shrivel and die, new ones emerge, but not without many people trying to hold on dearly to a rose-tinted past. When they finally stop kicking and screaming and move on, life tends to improve. I mean, who the fuck dreams of ploughing a field by hand anymore?
Hey, maybe one day we’ll become smart enough to work together as a species and solve problems without the need for everyone to work. Switching from one fictional universe to another, maybe we’ll become more cooperative, like the Federation of Star Trek:
“The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.” Jean-Luc Picard – Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
It may not seem like it, but there are plenty of people on the planet right now who live by that philosophy. We just tend to focus on the selfish wankers of society more.
Divide and conquer, keep the masses jittery; Philip of Macedon was at it, Machiavelli gave it a makeover, and politicians still dust it off regularly today. Sure, it keeps us in line, but are billionaires looking to wipe us out as well? I doubt it. Who the fuck’s going to buy their overpriced crap if we’re all dead?
Whatever the future holds, we can take solace in a little old fact from history: it rarely ends well for a dictator. Sure, a few managed to cling on until old age, but most of the time the role ends with a bullet, a rope, or a mob at the palace gates.
Ironically, just like back when I wrote the original article, I’ve had some time on my hands. Nowhere near as long, but I am once again awaiting help with an IT problem. It’s only shifting a couple of web pages about my book, It’s Not OK to Be Not OK, over to my website.
But I guess some things never fucking change!
If this rattled your brain in a good way, follow me on Facebook — it’s not enlightenment, but it’s a step up from doomscrolling.