What Success Looks Like
The word success conjures up different images for everyone; some of the most common are a big house, fancy cars and exotic holidays. The trouble is, if you don’t possess these things; you may feel despondent, depressed and even a failure.
In this article, I want to challenge your perception of what success really is, show how you are already successful, and give some tips on gaining those material possessions if that is what will truly make you happy.
If the only true definition of success was measured by material possessions, then only the people with these things would view themselves as successful, and those without would all see themselves as failures, wouldn’t they? Yet this is not a true reflection of how things are.
Also, if this were the case, the likes of Mother Teresa, the Buddha, and even Jesus would have to be considered failures by this definition.
Media and Marketing Mind Games
But why do most people view success and failure in these terms?
The biggest contributing factor is, without a doubt, the media, be it tabloid, internet or TV. Although these mediums can’t take sole ownership of nurturing these beliefs, marketing campaigns play a large contributing factor too: If you are not the right body shape, wearing the hottest designer clothes and sporting the latest fashionable hairstyle, there is something incredibly wrong with you!! I consider myself fortunate not to have to be concerned by the latter of these “must haves”!
If you buy into all this hype, what you are really saying is that someone else’s opinion is more important than your own. In the grand scheme of the Universe, your opinion is just as valid (or invalid) as the next person’s. So why not trust yours a bit more from now on, providing it doesn’t cause you, or anyone else any harm?
The fact you are alive reading these words shows you are already a fantastic success story. Not only were you the winning sperm cell out of literally millions at the time of conception, not only did you survive the trauma of childbirth (4 in every 1000 don’t), but you have managed to avoid all manner of lethal dangers such as mortal disease, road traffic accidents, and if you’ve served in the Armed Forces; war.
Other occasions when people don’t feel successful are when; they haven’t yet achieved a specific goal, they haven’t received the recognition they feel they deserve, or plans have not turned out as desired.
Despite my training in psychotherapy, I have to admit that I often thought this way after leaving the Forces.
My personal turning point came when I heard the following words from Earl Nightingale’s “The Strangest Secret”:
“Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy ideal.”
You see, with our instant gratification fixation in the Western world, if we don’t get what we want when we want it, we think we are unsuccessful.
For example, if you wanted to lose 16 pounds in 6 weeks but only lost 4, you may think you failed. But the truth is, you’ve been successful on your journey towards weight loss; just not in the time frame you had hoped for. Providing you don’t give up entirely; you can never fail.
When things are not turning out according to plan, people often have a tendency to blame things outside of themselves: the Government, recession, co-workers, etc.
Your Thoughts = Your Fate
However, there is one recurring element in all my studies of Psychology, Theology and even Quantum Mechanics; we are masters of our own destinies, and it’s our thoughts which govern that fate.
You, and more importantly, your thoughts, are the only thing standing between where you are now and the life you dream of.
Are you one of those people who:
When something goes wrong, think to themselves, “My typical luck”?
Says to others “I can’t because I’m no good at…”?
Believes “I have too many responsibilities to go chasing fanciful dreams”?
If this is your way of thinking, I predict your future will be one of unrealised potential, lacking fulfilment, and only a feeling of semi-happiness at best.
The good news; it’s never too late to change your thoughts. Before you say “I can’t”, or “it’s too difficult to do”, let me demonstrate how easy it is to change a thought. Right now, try not to think of Donald Trump’s face; yes, Donald Trump’s weirdly orange face with that typical expression of superiority.
I would wager you saw his face, if only for a split second. So, if I can get you to change your thoughts to briefly focus on a single object with the written word, then doing it for yourself will be a doddle.
(If you’ve still got Trump’s face stuck in your thoughts, just imagine sticking a big red clown nose and pigtails on him; at least that way you can giggle for a bit.)
Instead of the above, there are alternative ways of looking at circumstances:
When things go wrong, look for what you have just learned.
You only become good at things by practice; it took you months to learn to walk and you’ve got that weighed off.
The only responsibility you have (once your children are adults) is to your own well-being and happiness.
Redefining Achievement
If there is something you want to do, a goal you wish to accomplish, or a dream which burns in your soul, all you need to do is make it your predominant daily thought.
When you do this, you will be pleasantly surprised at the way in what some call “coincidences”, but I prefer the term “synchronicities” will start to appear to help you to attain your desires.
This may sound like some sort of hippy B.S., but until you try it; how can you be so sure? You have nothing to lose by giving it a real concerted effort, but everything you could ever want to gain.
To sum it all up; Success Is All In YOUR Mind!
Please Note: I wrote this article many years ago, but as it’s still relevant, I have repurposed it for my blog. Originally, I asked readers to picture Tony Blair’s face, so that shows you how long ago I wrote this!
If this rattled your brain in a good way, follow me on Facebook — it’s not enlightenment, but it’s a step up from doomscrolling.
